Where Was God?

War is hell on Earth. There is no romanticizing it and you certainly cannot downplay it. It is destruction, death, the lasting effects of trauma for many of those who made it home, and great loss for the families of those who did not make it home. In all of the bad, how can we see God in it all? Where was God when so much evil was happening? Why doesn’t God just take away the pain and suffering?

These are fair questions, and I will always encourage you to ask them. God is not intimidated by your questions. He isn’t going to shy away from your challenges. We may not get all of the answers that we want, but there is so much that we can’t know. At least not right now.

The reality is, we live in a broken world with broken people. We were made to seek our divine purpose and bring glory to God, but many seek power, money, and more instead- no matter the cost. When it comes to war, the cost is suffering and death for so many. Without getting too theological here, God does allow for the freedom of choice or free will, and with free will comes the capability to worship or walk away from God (Deuteronomy 30:15-20). In a fallen, sinful world, we have chosen to walk away from God, but God also can use the worst of circumstances for amazing things, and I have witnessed some of these things first-hand.

Worship in the Desert

There is something about the desert, isn’t there? We see the Israelites wander in the desert, but God meets them there. John the Baptist fulfilled his calling out in the wilderness. In my experience, God even shows up in the desert or wilderness today.

During my first tour, 57 Marines were baptized in my unit. I was one of them, baptized with a cup of water in the middle of Kuwait just days before we headed into Iraq. Being a young Christian, I don’t think that I could have picked a better spot (and we splashed in the Euphrates, and I washed my feet in the Tigris)-especially given the circumstances. Before we crossed over into the country of Iraq, our Chaplain, Chaplain Cash, prayed with each one of us and led a worship service. In the middle of the desert. We went on to have worship in a half-blown up palace in Baghdad and in many places where Jesus had not been allowed for centuries.

Even in this war-torn place, God showed up. Now, it didn’t stop us from taking casualties. It didn’t miraculously give us all of the supplies that we needed or provide an easy road. What it did, though, was give hope. God didn’t take away the pain or hardship, but he walked with us through the hardship.

Communion in a combat zone

Miracles

I always have a hard time talking about miracles because of how some televangelists portray it. I believe that they still occur. I’ve witnessed it. However, God is not some cosmic genie who comes whenever or however we expect. When he performs miracles, it is not necessarily because the amount of faith someone has and certainly not because of something you pledged. Rather, miracles occur according to God’s will and not ours. Sometimes he heals, and sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes what he does is subtle, and sometimes it is obvious. In my experience, a lot of it is subtle, but I also have experienced two obvious examples in combat.

The first miracle that I witnessed was during my first tour on our way to Baghdad. My unit, an infantry unit being carried by an Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAV or Track) that was lightly armored and equipped with a 50-caliber machine gun. We had heard over the radio that we were going to be intercepted by a platoon of T-72 Iraqi tanks. TANKS! We were going to have to take them on with what we had. Personally, I had a M249 SAW (light machine gun). My first thought as a Marine was, “alright, here we go,” but I was terrified.

Around that time, a sandstorm had started moving in. So much sand started blowing through that we could not see three feet in front of us. Just then, we had received word that the tank platoon had turned around, and what had seemed like a death sentence now felt like a miracle!

The second miracle that I had witnessed was during Spring Break of 2004 in Iraq. If you read the previous article, you know that it was a difficult week. I had seen death and destruction all around me, and I still have internal scars to this day. However, if not for a miracle, I believe that I would not be alive today to tell you this story.

We had pulled back into a defensive position after being pinned down by a sniper all day. We had taken the fight to the enemy, but right now, we needed to regroup. We put two men facing their rifles down the alley to stop anyone from approaching from the intersection a short block away. However, after a long few days, because we were in the prone position, we kept falling asleep. As I myself continued to fall in and out of sleep, I kept picturing the worst outcome of someone sneaking up on us and killing us. I also noticed a strand of concertina wire close to us. I figured that I could set it up at the next intersection to create a little bit of an extra obstacle for anyone approaching.

I stood up and started pulling on it to bring it toward the intersection, but it was stuck on something. After a few moments, I was able to start moving it. As I was pulling the wire to the intersection, and just a few feet away from the intersection, I heard something overhead. It was that whistling sound that you don’t want to hear and what I thought would be the last thing I would hear. It flew overhead and impacted just a few feet from where I was standing. I turned to run away, and all I remember is seeing the impact, running, and then I had two of my brothers in my face checking on me- Brian and Johnny. Both were surprised to see me standing there. They expected me to be severely wounded or dead, but I stood there without a scratch.

Now, this story is so unbelievable that it even causes me to doubt my memory now that 22 years have gone by, so I reached out to Brian to ask him what he remembered. To paraphrase, he said that it hit right around where I was, he took cover, smoke and debris blew through the alley, and he was surprised that I was not in pieces.

I am only here because in that moment, God protected me.

God Shows Up

To this day, I have no idea why I walked away without a scratch while many others have been wounded or they made the ultimate sacrifice. What I do know is that God shows up. He doesn’t take all of our hardship away. He doesn’t protect us from every danger. He doesn’t always stop the scars from forming. But he shows up, and he walks with us through it all and he walks us through the pain.

No matter who you are and where you stand, God will show up. It may not always look like you want it to-sometimes it does, but not always. But he will walk with you and he will carry you through it all. Even more, as hard as it is to explain, he can use our wounds and scars for some amazing things.

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5:3-5)